The Comeback Queen

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Funny how life goes sometimes.  One minute you’re riding high on top of the world and it seems like nothing can go wrong.  There is low hanging fruit everywhere and everything you touch seems to turn to gold.  And then the next minute…boom!  The bottom falls out from underneath you, sending you into a seemingly endless downward spiral where everything seems utterly hopeless and lost forever…even to the point of apparent death!  Only for the pendulum to miraculously swing back the other way again and you find yourself in the midst of the biggest comeback of your life…more powerful and better than you’ve ever been!  What a difference a year makes, huh?

Yeah…that’s pretty much where I am right now.  Things have been up and to the right lately; much of my memory has returned when it was initially thought that perhaps it wouldn’t even be restored to fifty percent of what it used to be.  I know who I am now…in my eyes, that has been a much more difficult battle to fight than any of my encounters with the C.O.D.E. or the Entity.  The night terrors of my assimilation into the C.O.D.E. still show up occasionally, and from time to time I’ll still have those days when my humanity will completely check out and I become ‘robochick’ until my human persona comes back…unfortunately the DFA (dissociative fugue amnesia) isn’t completely gone and shows up at the most inconvenient times.  And there still are a few spots in my memory that either are very fuzzy or just missing…it’s like trying to remember a movie you watched, yet either you can’t clearly remember what happened in certain scenes or certain scenes are completely missing altogether, leaving me to wonder just what happened in between. 

But I have come a long way in such a short time with my progression.  Even Techna can’t fully understand how my brainwaves were able to make such a recovery despite my once severe mental disorder…maybe some of it are the millions of nanomachines coursing though my body, but she wholeheartedly believes that the power from my diamond.   She truly thinks that it’s responsible for not only keeping me alive all of those years when I was thought to have been dead, but she faithfully believes that it’s power is also responsible for restoring the parts of me that cybernetics, bio-synthetics, and nanotechnology can’t repair or replace!  And while I finally realize that I have been thoroughly trained in combat over the years, coupled with my natural athletic prowess and my extensive combat programming…my strength and energy levels are off the charts! 

Techna also affirms this by constantly reminding me that while she did design my current body to be cutting edge and powerful…she knows for a fact that my specs weren’t designed to be this powerful!  It’s almost as if the diamond greatly amplifies my abilities one-hundred fold!  Speaking of fuzzy memories…the jury is still out on this mysterious gem implanted within my chest.  I know that my mother gave it to me when I was still a teen and that she too said that there was something special about it…but unfortunately, that is one of those incomplete memories that months and months of retroactive brain scans hasn’t been able to restore yet. 

As for everything else, both the C.O.D.E. and the Entity has still been keeping me and all of my Daedalus comrades quite busy defending the universe.  However, we have momentum on our side…I am quite humbled to think that I have been the equalizer that has helped tip the scales in the favor of Daedalus as well as for the Caliber resistance.  Maybe it’s a good thing that my DFA hasn’t gone away completely…if nothing else to keep me grounded!  I was quite the cocky athlete back in my youth!  There has been a clear shift of power from the Entity to Caliber thanks to Daedalus’ efforts…and that shift began the day I stepped foot on the battlefield once Techna reformulated me. 

We have staved off the threat of Sataria’s megalomaniac delusions of complete cyborg rule and the mass indoctrination of Earth into her mindless drones.  We have freed many thralls and enforcers from the tyrannical rule of The Matriarch as well as taken control of many of the territories and strongholds that were once firmly in the Entity’s grasp.    The morale of the people is higher than it has been in a long time and now the Caliber freedom fighters have hope that the war against the Entity is winnable. 

So…what does all of this mean for the future?  Where do I go from here?  I’ve got momentum on my side and I’m just gonna keep pounding like I have been!  I won’t stop until Sataria and the C.O.D.E. no longer are a threat to humanity!  I won’t stop until The Matriarch and her evil Entity empire has fallen and the oppressed captives of Caliber are freed!  Like I said…I now know my true identity…and it doesn’t matter if I am known as Nicole Simone-Rattica or Adora-1…above all else, I am a Paragon for Daedalus. 

I will continue to sacrifice my own life daily in exchange for the service and protection of others and peace throughout the entire universe and not quit until the task is complete or I cease to function any longer.  I promise, as long as there is energy coursing through my circuits, synthetic blood flowing through my veins, and that my systems are still functioning…I will fight the good fight and help vanquish evil.
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Last one of 2015!!!   Just like in Nikki's narrative (for those of you that read it)...what a difference a year makes, eh?  2014 was possibly the worst year of my life (this image explains how I was feeling at the end of '14  ) and while 2015 started off rough as I tried to shake off the hangover from last year, 2015 has shaped up and has been one of my best years so far...if not the best!!!!  Sure...I was jobless until September, but I got not one but TWO jobs that I REALLY enjoy (due to their highly creative/artistic nature) and I finally feel like I am on the right path in life!  Sure...anxiety and depression have been reoccurring issues at various times.   But, this year has been a great year where I was able to do much soul searching and was able to find great peace in my relationship with Jesus Christ, so much to where I have been able to find joy in the midst of hard trials and life's storms.  Sure...I'm still single with no prospective girlfriends/future wives in sight (I'm always on the hunt though!) but life has been good and my jobs keep me busy.  While my gigs aren't the best paying and I have no benefits, I'm not struggling financially anymore...the only really big outstanding debt that I have is my student loan.  And to top it all off, my Carolina Panthers are having the best season ever in football, plus I won the championship one of my fantasy football leagues!!!

This year has contained some great moments of victory in my life, considering that it has felt like much of my adult life has been one big disappointment.  But this has been the year of the comeback for me...honestly, I don't even know if you can call it a comeback b/c I've never been here before!  I just hope and pray that the momentum will keep on going in my favor for 2016!!!

Artistically, I don't feel like I've grown all that much this year.  I did post more new art this year than I did last year, but I only posted like 4 brand new pieces last year.  With the addition of this piece, this makes 9 on the year.  I'm still wanting to take it back to 2009 when I posted new stuff all the time.  And as for my skills, I only notice slight improvement...I still don't sketch and practice nearly as much as I should be to achieve the results that I want.

But, I am happy that it's clear that Nikki is my main character now.  And looking back at the very first deviation featuring her this year she's changed a bit. (Wanted to include Sapphira as well to do a piece that echoed my first deviation, but couldn't get one of her finished in time)  I wanted to take it back to basics with her...I felt like I had added too much stuff, too much details on her face, etc.  I streamlined her look even more...even ditched her trademark ponytail. (The ponytail is subject to come back from time to time however...it's just hair!)  This drawing is very reminiscent of a previous end of year pic featuring and is somewhat of a "kick my own ass" version of  from five years ago, and also reminds me of . 

So...I hope everyone has a great 2016!  I hope to have more cool stuff for you to peruse as well as to make some noticeable strides in improvement of my artistic abilities!!!